The Internet, and Using it for More than Dating


“If you want to find a boyfriend, join a club, or do something where you can find someone with a mutual interest.”

NEWSFLASH: Most people don’t have any interests.  They basically go through the motions of life, make money, and then… look for sex, sad to say.

The internet has allowed all of us to abandon our pseudo-interests (like ballroom dancing and tennis), leaving us free to pursue our true interest: sex.  Or perhaps, a fetish.  Or cosplay.  Scantily clad women, etc.

I sound like a nun.  So be it.

I’m basically speaking from a place of boredom and frustration.  Wait… are those words opposite of one another?  Is this an oxymoron?

I mean… I don’t decry sex itself.  But the pursuit of it is hardly liberating.  I have one particular friend… he sits glued to a laptop for hours on end, emailing women galore, hoping that he will be rewarded with a score after a month or so.  Many boring dates.  I mean, where is the freedom in that?

I write from the futile male’s perspective here, but I’m pretty sure this story is not unique to my friend.  This is the exact attitude that lines the pockets of Tinder and OkCupid.  And Craigslist?  Even my friend won’t touch that place. *pun*

This process used to be intriguing to me.  Finding randoms, etc.  But now, I have realized the calculated, predatory nature of the whole thing.  Unlike most other people, I am most fulfilled by the pursuit of knowledge.

My common friend, the male aformentioned, tells me that I am incredibly unique.  He says that most people are like him.  Selfish pieces of shit.  Looking back, I figure that this is probably why I developed mental illness in the first place.  I am unable to comprehend the idiocy of selfishness.

I am a philosopher, formally speaking.  And therefore… I am terribly naïve.  I also have a generous, charitable spirit.  As a child, I was thoroughly confused as to why those around me were not so kind-spirited.  In the first grade, when my classmates asked me for pencils to borrow, I gave them freely.  And so I was always without pencils.  I believed them when they said they were borrowing them, every time.  I couldn’t fathom, that these people thought I was a fool, simply to be taken advantage of.

I call these children people, because they’re mean enough to cause misery for someone else.  The innocence of a child cannot cover this fault.

Nevertheless, I’m over my lost pencils.  I am more attractive than most of my previous acquaintances, from what I see of these people’s profiles on Facebook.  I’ve developed good habits of exercise, and I eat like a saint.  I mean not to gloat, but I am quite tired of self-deprication.  Humility only goes so far.  In excess, it weighs down the spirit like an anchor affecting a tug-boat.

No matter.

As a genuinely nice person, I have never understood why people experience emotions like… the need for revenge.  Why do people feel like they have to get back at someone who has wronged them?

Or… a lack of empathy when bullying others. Why do some people feel entitled to label another person, perceptibly weaker, as a “loser,” or a “weakling,” or call them “gay,” regardless of sexuality?  Why is that term equated with “stupidity?”  Even the word “lame” should be considered an offensive slur.  Remember, the word originally refers to a person with an injured leg, unable to walk without pain.  Is it “lame” to wear unfashionable pants?  Oh dear, those acid wash jeans really make it hard for me to walk…

We really need to wake up.

Another feeling I truly do not understand, is feeling of entitlement a person has when seducing a sexually-desirable someone.  Of course, we think of sexual harassment, assault, rape, and all that evil stuff.  We know that sex should occur between two consensual adults.

But… it is truly alien to me, this savage nature of pursuit.  For me… romance is a polite art.  It is like… an exchange of question and answer.  One person asks an inviting question, perhaps for a dance or a date, and the other person is free to oblige or decline.

These days, we see this question/answer-style of romance sharply diminished.  The internet has probably caused this.  It serves as a closet as vast as Narnia.  People step in, and are granted instant access to free porn and dating sites and sketchy message boards, granting access to thousands upon thousands of profiles and ads and forum postings of people either seeking sex or talking about it.

In pursuit of satisfying our desires, we rifle through piles of profiles of men and/or women or whatever gender we seek… sniffing them out like dirty laundry, and then promptly discarding what is unwanted.

I mean, should we treat each other like this?

The sad thing is, this has always been in our hearts, as people.  I never knew it though, as a child.  Even now, my goody-two-shoes attitude makes it hard for me to understand… why people do this.  But least, I’m awake now.  I thank my depraved friend for this moment of enlightment.

Many people decry the internet to be evidence of the decline of society.  But personally, I don’t think the solution is to clean up our interactions online.  Wherever we clean, more dirt shows up elsewhere.

And really, I love the freedom of the internet.  I love how I can be myself online, sometimes more than in real life.  Many people disagree with me, but then again, I am a wordster.  I love reading more than anything else, so the internet is amazing to me. I suppose I write about this… to get our minds thinking.

Because… in order to write words, you have to have a brain formulate them, if you are to sound at all intelligent. Sadly, people don’t think before they write.  We often say, “think before you speak.”

The same should go for every word you type online. Maybe… if people applied this in their own lives, in their use of emails and chats and all… maybe people would be more intelligent.  It requires a sense of uprightedness, to commit to forming such a new habit.

But I tell you.  I apply this in my life 100%, and as a result, my capacity to express myself in words, as vividly as I do in person… it causes me to really treasure my online friendships.  I’ve strong friends in Germany, Tunisia, the Netherlands… not to mention those real-life friends who are now in different states, and elsewhere I no longer frequent.

Like anything else, the internet is a tool. The same as is a knife or a chainsaw.  We choose how to use it.  The internet can be used for quite noble causes.  Let’s challenge ourselves to use the internet to enhance the quality of not only our own lives, but the lives of others.


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