Every day I see my mother, I ask her the same question over and over again:
“Do I look fat?”
She gets frustrated with me. But really, I worry a lot. I used to be very overweight, and then I lost weight by eating right and exercising. Even today, I eat like a saint… mostly. I eat no grains, no dairy (except for skim milk in coffee, no sugar), no cookies, cake, candy, ice cream or anything else with sugar in it. No starchy veggies either: no potatoes, corn, peas… and so on. My version of junk food has been Quest Bars, but lately I’m substituting this with bananas.
But still, I worry. I see celebrities, with their rail-thin bodies, all but unattainable. And the camera “adds 20 pounds.” So I look at myself, and I think I’m really fat. Also, I do my P90X3 workout, and such… but I don’t look ripped like the peeps in the vids.
A good friend of mine… she is the manager at the women’s gym in my area. About 3.5 years ago, I joined this gym, totally out of shape… but ready to rock. I had so many questions. She answered all of them, and beyond. I still see her periodically, just to give her an update and to hear some encouraging words from her. Every time, she says, “You look phenomenal!”
Even though I freak and worry, she tells me that I’m doing well. That I’m in the maintenance phase. Regarding those who look ripped, she says, “There are people out there who spend hours to look that way. And celebrities? You can’t compare yourself to those people, because it’s their job to look the way they do.”
Nevertheless, I do have some Beach Body friends who put in no more than an hour a day, 5 or 6 days a week, and still they look perfect. (Beach Body is the company that puts out the Insanity workouts, etc.)
It’s frustrating, because I have one major thing holding me back: my feet.
Ah yes. Bunions run in my family on my mother’s side. My mom says always that “bunions run in Italian women.” I, 1/4 Italian, have this curse as well. I’m not sure if it’s really an Italian thing, but it’s definitely in my family. For 4 generations of women on my mother’s side of my family (including myself), apparently all of us have/had bunions. And mine are starting to develop, sadly.
I used to go to meet up with friendly people and do some Beach Body vids, primarily by Shaun T. But I had to stop, because the videos required a lot of jumping on the balls of the feet. That’s a big no-no. Even when at home, I can’t do the cardio workouts in general, again because of my feet.
I’ve found a good podiatrist, but I’ve got to wait until scheduling… probably until the first week of August. Most likely: orthotics. Hrm.
I don’t like how people think that, just because you’re overweight, that it’s your fault. A lot of people have disabilities, or impingements, or injuries. And while a person can persevere despite these setbacks, sometimes as successfully as those not impaired, we cannot assume that everyone can do this.
It saddens me that “jocks” adopt this attitude. What’s worse, is that sometimes, formerly-overweight-people-turned-jocks have this same attitude too. “I did it, you can too.”
Perhaps it’s encouraging, seeing where they’re coming from… but I wish such people would also remember where they came from. Because… no matter how much you achieve… if you do not remember where you started from, then you are devoid of the compassion to reach back and help others where you were.
Maybe that’s why I should get fit. Not for myself, but for others. I don’t care about looking in the mirror and seeing my perfect six-pack abs or whatever. (I don’t even have a 6 pack yet, it’s more like 2 top abs and a blob…)
I just want to help others. I want to explain fitness to people who are struggling. People who are discouraged, and see no light ahead at the end of the tunnel. Maybe that’s why I should work out.
Because… no matter how much one succeeds… it gets to a certain point where it’s not about you anymore. I also don’t like how people think: “Oh, I’m rich. I worked my way up. Everything I have, I did for myself.”
That’s just not true though. Did you offer yourself a promotion? Was it you that purchased items from your business, allowing you to become wealthy? NO. It was the wallets of other people. It was the decision of others to promote you. You personally did nothing. At best, you found yourself in favorable circumstances.
We have to say the same for our bodies. Sadly, people who are ripped, again, think that they did it. But really…? I mean, such a person is fortunate not to have a disability or an injury. Again, circumstances are favorable for these people, that they could attain the bodies they have.
I was just thinking… the reason I should work out, is because I want to be able to help my mother as she gets older, instead of becoming decrepit myself. If that happens, then I’ll be too weak to help her, and the other people I love.
Maybe that’s why I should get those abs. Not for me… but for those around me. Me, everyday at work… I grab my lunch box and munch on baby carrots… I see myself as a REBEL. And when people see me joyfully eating my raw carrots, they start to think… “hrm… she’s really healthy.”
But again… doing it for me… it’s not a good enough reason anymore.
I don’t know if this blog post makes sense, but it’s just what I’m thinking right now. I thank you for your attention, if you’ve read this far. Good evenings 🙂