Does Mental Illness Make Us Inconsistent?

Do you feel like “mental illness” causes a person to be “inconsistent?”
 
I’ll explain where I’m coming from… I think it’s an important topic:
 
I have usually been wishy washy with dating, and am not “confident” in saying “what I want.” Also, when I was in college, my professor called me “inconsistent,” mainly because I would play music, and the interpretation would sound different each time I played it, and in an uncontrolled manner. Certain parts would sound good, other parts not so good. My fingers would slip here and there as well, even though I had practiced well enough.
 
Over the years, I still see these “inconsistencies” and “wishy washy” moments in my life. In general, I don’t like making statements such as “This is what I want in a relationship,” and I like “this.” Instead, I try to be open-minded and spontaneous, but then that is determined to be wishy washy.
 
I’m noticing also, that this “wishy washy” mentality serves to my advantage in my new creative discipline of writing. My mind is flexible, and it formulates unique ideas and concepts because of this. But this “flexibility” is seen as a weakness in the “real” world, because it is indecisive.
 

I wonder… perhaps more and more of us are “wishy washy” these days than we think. We all have multiple interests and passions, and our feelings are one way one day, and another another. And yet we are supposed to fit into a cookie cutter of a mold… especially in schools and in the workplace. Going on a job interview or a college interview, and then you get shut down for talking about your non-related interests? HR recruiters, crossing out people who express an enthusiasm for going back to school, or climbing up the career ladder?

All of this perhaps is “inconsistent.”

I take huge offence to the word these days.

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2 thoughts on “Does Mental Illness Make Us Inconsistent?

  1. Doesn’t it just mean you can hear your heart as well as your head? Few people can, it doesn’t put food on the table or win the prize to sing from the heart – until it does (think Bowie, or Adele or Brahms)

    Even inconsistent interpretations of the same piece mean your heart wants to sing while your head wants to get the technique right.

    Keep writing and writing. Your words do sing.

    Kevin

  2. Aw, thanks for your kindness! Yeah, writing is passion for me. It’s the only way one can keep going despite “failure” or “lack of recognition.” It’s also why I cant do music… lack of drive in that department.

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