Another Boring Dating Story :/

I briefly was in correspondence with a guy from OkCupid… for about three weeks.  It started off pleasant, and then ended, standard fare… but I wish I was a bit wiser about its ending.  Of course, I’m now glad to be free from something that was not much destined to work out.  But at the same time, I behaved somewhat regrettably, and hope to have learned my lesson from this.

Although… was I wrong in my behavior?  Or justified?




I liked his photograph.  He was my type indeed… glasses, nerdy, and kind-looking, so I sent him a short but personalized message.  He wrote back eloquently.  In a week, we were talking on the phone.  His voice was charming and affable, and so it continued.

Within another week, we met for a date, which was “the nicest date I’ve ever been on.”  Such it always feels in the moment.  As the train pulled away, he never broke eye contact, and even blew me a kiss.  This got me smitten.  I ran out of the train station with an attitude of glee, and even a bit of tear in my eye.

Finally… FINALLY.  After all my years of mental illness, I finally can attract a man my own age that I am also attracted to!  Finally… all my suffering is at an end.  No longer am I my illness.

I looked up to the night sky as if it was heaven, and felt exuberance in my heart.  Mind you, I was not convinced it was love, but rather… a good beginning.

We texted and talked further… but I increasingly got an itchy sort of feeling.  The young man began to ask me if I wanted to date seriously.  Given that I only knew him for two and some weeks, I fretted.  Really… over the years, I have learned that the best of my friendships were the ones that evolved over a significant period of time.  Those who have desired closeness in a very short period of time are usually the ones who make me uncomfortable.

And such this was becoming.

In response, I told him I’d like to take time in getting to know him.  Then he said that he was seeing other people, and that someone else might get to him first.

Really?  Is that “serious” then, seeing other people?

This was too much of a headache for me.  I did my freakout, and then he said we could “remain friends” but not date.  He asked if I wanted to hang out on Saturday “as friends.”

As appealing as this sounded… nuh-uh.  As for his reason for not wanting to be with me?  My behavior regarding commitment was “wishy-washy.”

In reaction, I defriended the dude on Facebook, and immediately posted to all my friends:

“What’s the best thing about defriending someone you were considering dating from online?  YOU CAN TALK ABOUT THEM!!!!”

I soon got a text from the fellow, saying that he saw what I did, and that it was best that we would no longer talk to me.  He also recommended I change my privacy settings.

In any case, I continued on my tear of the fellow, writing about how he was a stupid hipster who should have his ear blown out by an airhorn Jackass style… and also how his criticism of me being wishy-washy was a misunderstanding…

See… when I talk to people about any sort of decision I am making, I speak openly regarding my decision-making process.  I will talk about the pros and cons of doing such.  This can be seen as “indecisiveness.”  There are indeed, some people who think before they speak.  I, however, think aloud.  Not to be overwhelming, but so as to involve the person in my decision-making process.

This dude didn’t understand that.  And so… farewell.

My only regret, as I said I had earlier, is that I was immature and bashful… not shy, silly, but full of bashing behavior.  It wasn’t mature.  And as much as my friends on Facebook were entertained by it, I thought to myself afterwards:

I wouldn’t want someone to gossip about me that way.

Even though the dude is no longer in my life, I still want to regard him with respect.  Because he’s a human being.  I hope in the future, I can be a better person for it.




See?  I told you this was a boring dating story :{


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s